No Expectations or Attachments to the Outcome – What Does this Mean?
Have you ever been disappointed at the outcome of anything? I’d say we have all felt this. We have an idea in our minds how something is going to play out, we get excited about, start planning what we’ll do when it happens, what it will be like and then when it doesn’t happen, we are sad, upset and find ourselves in disappointment.
We don’t always understand why things happen as they do, in the order they do or in the time they do but down the road we often look back on the situation and find ourselves in gratitude. Only then do we consider the possibility that things really do happen for a reason and that if they would not have occurred exactly the way they had, then life would not have evolved as it had the experiences and people in our lives now would be very different.
With this said, we may not understand in the moment of what we might consider loss, negative or “bad” might very well be a “blessing in disguise”. Imagine all the times you chose this rather than that, decided to go here rather than there, left ten minutes later and how each one of these things impacts the results in everything we do. Be fine with it because nothing is a big deal unless you make it one, it really is just a matter of perspective.
By having no expectations or attachments to the outcome of anything, we get to relax into the moment and enjoy as we allow our experiences to unfold as they will. Without all the expectations or attachments, the worry and stress is gone, we are more relaxed, real and carefree. Then, no matter how things turn out, we are more accepting and not left in disappointment.
As we observe life unfolding in this way, we come to the realization that our lives really do unfold perfectly, in perfect time and providing us with exactly what we need at the time in our personal lives. With this experience we no longer feel the need to control or force things in a certain direction, we are trust and know everything will be fine, we are able to go with the flow, we become calmer, more relaxed, easy-going and at peace.
Applying the Concept of No Expectations or Being Attached to an Outcome
One example of not having expectations or being attached to an outcome might be the situation of applying for a job. You find a job opening that sounds amazing with great pay and benefits you imagine could very well be the perfect position for you so you submit your resume and apply for the position and get selected for an interview. You go to the interview fully prepared to impress, although maybe a bit stressed and worried because you want this job so bad so now you are nervous during the interview. Well, what happens when you don’t get the job? You find yourself in disappointment, questioning why, even doubting yourself and possibly even in frustration.
When in no expectation or attachment to the outcome, you would know that if the job is right, it will happen. You apply, go to the interview, you are more relaxed, personable and real because you are not in worry as you will be fine one way or another and the interviewer can see you are relaxed as well so you are more likely to be selected but if you are no, you are okay with it and move onto the next.
As you implement this into your daily life, you will find yourself feeling more relaxed, calmer, less reactive and more at peace. You will get a sense that things are flowing rather than being forced, chased or controlled, it will feel that everything that is happening is meant to be. You now know that everything is ok that there is something else coming your way that positions you perfectly for a variety of other outcomes and the one that unfolds will be perfect.
As we observe and evaluate the way things have played out and evolved throughout our lives, we are like to gain insight into why things happened as they have but we will also eventually notice the evolution directed us to where we are now, we realize things not happening were actually little nudges from the Universe or God to help us get where we need to be. So, along with this practice comes a new awareness, more wisdom, a deeper understanding and new levels of compassion and understanding we may not have realized had things evolved differently not to mention, we would not be who we are today, with the understandings we have and know all the people we do and more.
Disconnecting form Expectations
As I have personally moved into this space of no expectation and allowing, I have found myself trusting the flow of life as well myself in so many ways. I trust my intuition, I trust in there being a reason for things “ending”. I recognize more and more, the little clues and direction provided by the universe and the many subtle and some not-so-subtle ways it guides me.
I noticed that when I am not aware and intuitive, I don’t pick up on the little clues, intuitions and changes as easily and this can cause things to be more difficult until I come back to my awareness and intuition to get back on track and head in the right direction. When headed in the “right” direction, I find that things flow easier to me and for me, I find that I don’t have to force or “make” things happen and knowing I really don’t have to worry . . . I am in a wonderful space of trust, knowing and allowing, a beautiful flow!
Some of the Things You Will Notice When You Disconnecting are you will be:
- More accepting
- At ease
- In the moment
- At peace
- In joy
- Easy going
- Less reactive
- In gratitude
Many people live their lives in fear and with the feeling they must make things happen or they won’t, they live their lives constantly doing, doing and more doing as well as monitoring and evaluation of every aspect of their lives including planning or mapping it out like trying to draw up and follow a set of directions. I found as I moved away from this model of thinking and into a space of knowing, trust and allowing, things I desired or was trying to achieve started to manifest into my life much easier. I merely put myself in the position of observing, knowing, trusting and moving forward not by forcing but by allowing.
You might ask, how does one get into this space? Or how do I step back and trust or allow when for so long, I have been told and acted in such a way that I had to take major action to make things happen?
This doesn’t mean do nothing, but it means that for each step you take, for each intention you put out there, for each thing you desire, you feel it deep within you that it is already unfolding for you. Certainly take steps in the direction of what you desire but not in a space of worry, rush or forcefulness but from a space as if it is already evolving right in front of you because as soon as you shift, you will begin to know that it is. Now you are no longer conduct your life in a space of worry, fear or hurry but in a higher vibration of knowing allowing and flow.
Feeling Better with Higher Vibrations
One of the “mistakes”, I believe people make with this is trying too hard, once again, there is no try, to quote Yoda from Star Wars, “There is no try, only do” but remember, this is not forced. Listen to the word try vs allow, it not only sounds but even feels better! Why is this? This is because everything has a vibrational frequency, including words and feelings.
The vibrational frequency of fear vs love for instance. See the example image showing the vibrational frequency of just a few feelings and thoughts. By shifting your vibration from the lower frequencies to the higher ones will make a significant difference in how things unfold in your life. Practice shifting to higher vibrations and notice how your life changes from this alone.
Another practice I have incorporated is one of going more general in my desires, being more open to possibilities. Sometimes we are quite specific which may not allow for surprises of things we did not consider. There are many times we believe we know what we want or the direction we want to go not even realizing, there are other wonderful options or plans for our growth, awareness and experience. So stay open to possibilities you may not have consider, be open-minded saying, “okay, this did not play out exactly the way I expected but it may be perfect anyway . . . we may not know why but often there is magic just around the corner, only then may we say, now I get it!
Life Without Expectations and Attachments to the Outcome
As we move into this space of having no expectations and attachments to the outcome we begin to notice ourselves shifting into a higher vibration of trust and of knowing. We not reacting to the unexpected in negative ways and not only making the best of situations but often times embracing and honoring them for the wonderfulness that eventually follows.
As we are in this space of knowing, the bonus is that we start noticing the gifts and the wonderfulness that was always there but that we did not see because we were too wrapped up in disappointment that we didn’t allow ourselves to realize the wonderfulness of the moment, of the experience or allow ourselves to realize that sometimes things happen for reason or don’t happen for a reason and it truly is perfect! We get to experience freedom by choosing no expectations and attachments to the outcome of anything today, try this now!
Any thoughts? Feel free to post in the Oneness Love blog below!